Divorced Spouse eligibility for Aid and Attendance

Discussion in 'Eligibility Questions' started by CBT, Jan 2, 2017.

  1. CBT

    CBT Newbie

    We've just placed my mother in a dementia unit at an Assisted Living facility and we were advised she might be eligible for Aid and Attendance since my father was in the Army during the Korean Conflict. He is still living, has remarried and has assets exceeding the limits and is not collecting any sort of assistance from the VA. She has never remarried and has limited assets which will be exhausted within a few months.

    I have seen a couple of notes on the site and in the forums referencing that she might be eligible since her divorce decree states mental cruelty. (Hers states "on the grounds of cruel and inhuman treatment.") I should note that this continues to this day (39 years later) as he refuses to provide me with his discharge papers if I need them for this application.

    I've also noted that none of the forms have any slots for information regarding the divorced spouse making the filing and it appears that most forms assume that the Vet is deceased so I guess that's why I've seen the comments to "Call the VA" to find out what to do.

    I have my mother's DPOA but I've seen that the VA doesn't recognize this. Any advice on whether I should call a center near her or can I go to the one nearest me? (I live 850 miles from her.)

    Any info/guidance/experience very much appreciated.
  2. Kaylin

    Kaylin Hero Member Staff Member

    Hello CBT. Well this is quite a situation. It is noted that if a spouse of a veteran divorced from him/her because of abuse then the spouse should still be eligible for the A&A benefit. However, it would be difficult to show evidence. Since it states on her divorce papers about the mental abuse then that would be a good start for substantial evidence. It might be best to call the VA and ask what evidence they need to make this claim and still apply for the A&A benefit for her. It's worth a shot. And keep calling the VA if you have to to get a decent answer. You may find out that you will get multiple kinds of answers, too. That is to be expected.

    If you find out anything after calling them would you please come back to the forums and let us know what they said? It may help others in the future.
  3. magnumpi28

    magnumpi28 Jr. Member

    Im like Kaylin and have no clue what the VA would require to prove this, maybe you get lucky and the divorce papers is good enough but if not a good source to prove abuse would be police reports if your mom ever called them, you can get police/criminal record reports going back 30 or 40 years or more in most cities. So with police reports stating abuse(maybe even a PO was filed) and a divorce decree stating abuse i think that would be pretty good evidence of abuse in my opinion. (I'm a retired private investigator)
    PS. Hospital records are kept for many years too if she ever went to the hospital because of abuse. If all else fails you can always try to get notarized witness statements from people that witnessed the abuse(like maybe yourself or other relatives/friends that may have seen the abuse)
    Kaylin likes this.
  4. CBT

    CBT Newbie

    Thanks for your reply. The problem I'm having is even finding out how to apply as the forms don't address this situation. At this point, one person at the VA told my uncle that my father's current spouse must be deceased. Another told me that my father must be deceased. So the quest (and the questions) continues.....
  5. Kaylin

    Kaylin Hero Member Staff Member

    Thank you for our advice on this topic, magnumpi28. I would use a Statement in Support of Claim form 21-4138. Include this form in with the application to explain the divorce and make the case for the abuse.

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